I, Nefarious Mustache (!) am one of the most feared Super Villains in the galaxy!
But when you fight Super Heros as much as I do, you’re bound to get punched in the facial area from time to time.
So here, now, to appease your insatiable appetite for all things Nefarious Mustache and all things punch in the facey, I present:
The Top 5 Worst Face Punches I Ever Got!
5. Fart Man – Even if he touches you a little you smell like someone dropped a bucket of farts on your face for weeks. The psychical damage is minor, the damage to your dating life is ultra severe!
4. Superman – My face literally exploded. It’s how I died. I am a Nefarious Mustache plucked out of the time stream from some other time and place trying to stop Superman from making my genius level brains explode.
3. Slow Motion McGee – You know what’s worse than getting punched in the face? Having to wait half hour until the punch connects. I literally did 12 New York Times crossword puzzles before he connected.
2. Edward PenisHands – He’s got a penis where both of his hands should be…and they work!
1. Zsa Zsa Gabor – It was the emotional trauma of getting punched in the face by my favorite movie star that makes this one the first and worst on my list!
I am,
Nefarious Mustache! (!)

