Hulk, you gamma-radiated, purple pants wearing, mo haircut having, dufus.
The only thing Incredible about you is that your pants manage to stay on even though you grow to be like 10 times your original size.
Seriously, do you have magic pants?
Is there a magic pants store that only dudes who explode into rage monsters shop at?
You run around destroying cities and blowing up planets, you’ve killed like millions of people, plus you cheat at Uno.
And still people consider you a hero!
Me? I turn red and curse a lot. That’s about it and people hate my guts.
F@*k you Hulk.
Editor’s Note: Day 3 of my expose on the Douch-vengers brings me around to the Inaccurate Iron Man.
My God, but that man is tanked all the time!
I swear he threw up in his own helmet when we were fighting.
Plus he’s so drunk that he doesn’t even make any sense when you’re talking to him.
Here’s an example of one of our “in fight” conversations”
NF: I, Nefarious Mustache, will defeat you, Iron “Man”!
IM: You are 12 feet tall and covered with moths.
IM: Your face has a monkey crawling out of it!
NF: That’s not accurate at all! Are you drunk? You smell like my father.
IM: Puerto Rico is the capitol of New Jersey.
NF: Again, totally inaccurate Iron Man! Puerto Rico is a common wealth of The United States and Trenton is the capitol of New Jersey…wait why am I even answering you? Is this a diversionary tactic? Is Nick Fury going to come out and punch me in the throat again or something?
IM: La la la la…
NF: My god! Are you peeing? Don’t you have a pee slot or something you can open? Oh lord, you know what? Just fight yourself, I’m leaving.
IM: Grapes are plums that were left in the sun!
NF: Again! Totally inaccurate, you’re thinking of prunes. I’m out!
As you can see, The Inaccurate Iron Man is just about the douchiest guy you could have a conversation with.
Tomorrow: Nick Fury – Master Of Disguise or Simply a Douchebag?
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