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parents

Today is My Mom’s Birthday and She’s Not Happy About It

Monday, March 7th, 2016
Today is my Mom’s birthday and she’s not happy about it. How can she be? She (and she is not alone in this) has succumbed to the constant subliminal and overt cultural messages that discount the...

Geriatric Stranger Danger

Wednesday, September 30th, 2015
New Yorkers are not rude people. It’s just that we can get through the day without a lot of extraneous chitchat. We can communicate with each other with a quick chin lift, a head nod, and if need be,...

The Middle of the Night Phone Call

Tuesday, February 24th, 2015
One of my biggest fears is that I’ll get a Phone Call From Home in the Middle of the Night when I’m too far away to do anything about it and once again I’ll be angry that we still don’t have Star...

There is No Spoon: A Pre-Christmas Story

Wednesday, December 17th, 2014
Image courtesy of cuteimage at FreeDigitalPhotos.netOne of the most well-known scenes from the Matrix is when Neo is told, “There is no spoon.” We can while away an afternoon discussing what that...

Stranger Things

Thursday, August 8th, 2013
Today is my parents 38th wedding anniversary. My folks found love in the weirdest way. It was my Aunt Darlene's wedding. She and my Uncle Rob had been high school sweethearts and had been an item since they were kids. Long story short, my grandfather had died when my dad was nineteen so he was kind of the man of the house. The second of seven, oldest boy, his job was to give my aunt away. So they were all at the church for the big day.

When my grandfather died-my dad's dad-my grandmother was left with four kids still at home for the most part. My Aunt Margaret (RIP) was married. Aunt Darlene was getting married. While my dad still lived at home he was gainfully employed now that he was finished with college. But my grandmother still had four mouths to feed. Anyway, my Mema had some money from my grandfather's pension from the mill, but not enough. So my Nunni (RIP), my mom's mom, stepped in. Basically, what happened was my Nunni-a one time nurse-was able to help my Mema get a job as an LPN. Thus she got invited to her daughter's wedding as a thank you.

Well mom really didnt want to go. She had kinda sorta been dating my dad's cousin and blew the dude off. Apparently he was trying to be a pilot and according to my mother was "unstable." Anyway, my dad told his heartbroken cousin, "Forget that broad." Allegedly my dad had said hello to my mother while flying a kite on Flagstaff Hill at University of Pittsburgh but my mom blew him off. My mom alleges that my dad was tending bar at her cousin's party and was with some crazy red head and totally gave her the diss.My mom had no clue my dad was going to be there. She was just a young teacher, overworked, and wanted to be left alone. But my Nunni told her that she needed to go where the single guys were and that was a wedding.

Then the drama began. The bartender had a heart attack. So my Nunni and Mom stepped in to help serve drinks. One thing about my Nunni was that for as crazy as she could be, she was big into the spiritual part of Catholicism. On a good note, that meant helping out when things were crazy. On a not so good note, that meant rescuing riff raff she met at McDonald's and bringing them to family functions when they were either just out of jail or living at some half way house. Needless to say my dad was thankful.

This is how the exchange went from there.

Fire hall. Open scene.

Dad: Mrs. Wallisch, thank you so much. Let me know if there is anything I can do to repay you for helping make my sister's day special.

Nunni: Yes. Go over there and dance with my single daughter.

Nunni walks over to my mom

Nunni: See that young man right there. You are going to dance with him.

Mom: But Mom-

Nunni: Hush up. He is King of the Paper Boys. Now look distracted and bored.

(Note: My dad had gotten his MBA and was working for Price Water House. His MBA days were long over).

My Dad walks over

Dad: Want to dance

My mom doing a bad bored and distracted

Mom: Sure

Needless to say the rest is history. Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad

Love
April
I Came, I Saw, I Sang: Memoirs of a Singing Telegram Delivery Girl
www.aprilbrucker.com

Loser of the Week: Octomom

Thursday, April 26th, 2012
I hate this woman. I think Nadya Suleman is a breeding lump and a waste of flesh. In a skype broadcast she called her children "eight pieces of poop," when talking about how much work it was to raise them. She is addicted to popping out babies which is not only unhealthy for her body but unhealthy for the children she is raising. This bizarre freak believes she is entitled to food stamps and other government benefits when meanwhile not only did she choose to be a single mother, but she chooses to keep having children.

I want to deck this woman in her plastic surgeried face and then kick her right in her uterus because she is so freaking disgusting. My parents are both from large families. My dad is the second of seven and my mom is the first of six. While they love their parents and siblings, it wasn't easy coming from a big family. When my mom married my dad, she was overjoyed to get her own closet and drawer. When my brother moved out of the house for college, she got her own room, something she has never had ever. As kids, when we took family vacations this was a new adventure for my dad because his family was always too poor to take vacations. Not to mention he is fifteen years older than my youngest aunt, who was four when our grandpa died. Therefore, my dad did a lot of the dad stuff with her. Again, while I love my large extended family there were times where growing up with a lot of people in the house wasn't easy. This was because there parents were very Catholic and at the time the Catholic church, disregarding people as usual, disallowed birth control. Thus producing these huge families.

My grandparents had a lot of kids because people did it at the time. This bitch is doing it on purpose.

When my grandfather died my grandmother was barely entitled to his benefits. My dad was college aged and on his own and both of my aunts were married. She still had four kids in the house. The government gave her a hard time, and it was especially hard since my aunt and uncle were quite small. My grandmother didn't choose to become a single mother. This reject who doesn't care about her children and cares more about getting cut to look like Angelina Jolie did.

What's worse is that it's reported these children are living in squalor. They are using pots in the backyard to pee. They are eating off the floor. It is because not only is their mother a sick medical experiment gone wrong, but she is a fucking cunt with no regard for other human beings other than reproducing them for her own self-aggrandizement.

To make matters worse, these children were running around unsupervised while this fat fucking breeding lump was getting her hair done.

I think we need to take those kids away to families who will care for them properly and parents who know their priorities. Being a parent is not about getting your hair done. It is about making sure your children are well cared for. It is about putting your children before yourself. I know my mother missed plenty of things she could have been doing for herself because we needed things/got sick. It goes with the territory. Then again, my mother is one thing Octoslut isn't, a good parent and an upstanding human being.

I think we also need Octomom to step into the middle of the road and have a mac truck hit her. Seriously, the world would be better off without that waste of flesh.

But instead I think we should boycott her, sending a larger message that one shouldn't get publicity for being mentally ill as well as a bad parent.

You would never see my puppet children being so maligned and poorly cared for.
Octomom and her "eight pieces of poop." Endearing. They look tired and malnourished your worthless bitch.  Stop with the tired look too. You are a leech, a parasite, and maybe you will do us all a favor and die ridding the world of your smelly fucking breeding body you waste of fucking flesh. If you ever want to kill yourself I will give you some suggestions. 

These puppet children are happy, well cared for, and  know that they are loved. Not the house of Octomom


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