As you are well aware, EvilNewsDaily.com is owned and operated by The Selective Society Of Super Villains, who have the sole goal of taking over the world through evil blogging.
Our Search Engine Optimization (SEO) team consists of 6 mad scientists, 2 sad scientists and 1 happy scientist, who really doesn’t do that great of a job.
I must say they are doing the S.S.S.V. proud as many of the key words we were hoping to dominate on search engines are now in fact being dominating by EvilNewsDaily.com!
Here! Now! I present this week’s list of actual search engine terms people typed in which led them to EvilNewsDaily.com (seriously, we are not making this up):
1. Time Traveling Sex Predator – I wonder if the person looking up “Time Traveling Sex Predator” is actually a time traveling sex predator who is just looking to see what he’s up to in this era. Who knows, maybe he’s off showing his privates to Napoleon or dressing in a horse costume to trick Catherine The Great. Whatever this time traveling perv is up to, it’s probably weird.
2. Cocks of all kinds – in the last week we have dominated the cock search market! Ha! People found their way to E.N.D. through the following cock-rific search terms:
-Monster Cock
-Monster Cocks (What do you get for the man who already has a monster cock? Monster cocks.)
-Monster Cock 3D (probably the scariest 3D movie I’ve ever seen)
-Huge cock suck
- Fat Gay Cock (is there any other kind?)
and finally monstercocks which is different than “monster cocks” as it’s all one word.
One day we even got double digit cock searchers! Clearly EvilNewsDaily.com is on it’s way to becoming the number 1 cock destination on the internet!
3. platypus what the fuck do they do
Yeah, what the fuck DO they do?
4. evilnewsdaily 21 jump street
WTF? Someone actually typed in “evilnewsdaily”! Someone was actually looking for us and not monster cocks! Well jokes on them, everyone at EvilNewsDaily has monster cocks, especially the women!
And last but not least…
5. a monkey riding a unicycle eating shit
I am not exactly sure why a photo of the cast of Welcome Back Kotter appears when you do an image search of “a monkey riding a unicycle eating shit”, but I am also unsure as to why someone went searching for that term. My guess is that they tried typing in cock and had a seizure and randomly typed in “a monkey riding a unicycle eating shit”.
Have fun looking for cocks on EvilNewsDaily.cock! We’ll see you next week. Cock.
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